Conventional
by TheAnonymousJaneDoe
Summary: Three years after her release from jail, Piper leads a normal life dictated by conventional standards. But what happens when her past re-emerges? Vauseman
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi, guys. This is my first Orange is the New Black fanfiction and, to be honest, I've only seen a few episodes, so my knowledge of the show is not very extensive. I have, however, fallen very madly in love with Alex Vause - thus the following. Please, let me know what you think via reviews. As I watch more of the show, I will incorporate more characters in the story. Tiffany will definitely make an appearance at some point. _**

* * *

Piper never wanted to be that girl.

That girl with a conventional white house and a conventional yellow mailbox, who lived in the conventional suburbs with a conventional SUV. She never wanted a conventional marriage with a conventionally attractive husband who worked at a conventional job during the week and conventionally insisted they both go to the conventional Church in their conventional town with their conventional 2.5 kids. It has all seemed, so, well, _ordinary. _Yet here she was, three years after her release from prison, living in a small, conservative white town with her normal life, normal husband, and, in about four months, normal kid.

She gazed across the table at John, her husband of two years, whom she'd met about seven months after her release from jail. Despite her infrequent attempts at contacting him after her time was up, Piper had only once gotten ahold of Larry. She felt a pang in heart as she remembered him telling her about Julianna, the woman he'd met shortly after finding out that Piper had cheated on him with Alex. Images of her begging him to give her a second chance, insisting that her experiences had changed her flicked through her head like images on a projection screen.

_"Please, Larry! I love you!"_

_"Piper, you know that I'll always love you, too. But…we aren't good for each other."_

_"Larry, please…" she begged, not even trying to stifle her sobs. "I broke it off with Alex. I won't ever see her again. It was just sex."_

_Larry sighed. "Piper, even if you believed that, it's not the point. While you were in there, I did a lot of thinking. Thinking for once about what's best for __**me**__, thinking about what __**I **__want and…"_

_His voice trailed off._

_"And what you want isn't me," Piper finished in a voice totally devoid of emotion. _

_"Piper," Larry began, pausing as though heavily contemplating what to say next. "It isn't that I don't care for you, but I'm getting older, I've got to grow up, and I just…"_

_"Just what?"_

_"Want something more stable. I mean, when we first met, I was captivated by you. By your adventurous spirit, your bisexuality, Hell, even your tumultuous past fascinated me. You were a mystery that I wanted to figure out."_

_Piper bit her lip, tears streaming down her cheeks. "W-what changed?"_

_Larry paused. "Time. Piper, all of that was fine and well when we were in our early twenties, but the fact is that I'm going to be thirty six in a year and…"_

_For the first time, Piper could feel a spark of anger, slowly growing inside her._

_"And what? Suddenly you're too mature for me, the bisexual ex-con?"_

_"Piper, please, I'm not trying to fight with you. You are who you are and that's fine. But Julianna - she's really lovely, works as a registered nurse, and is already planning our weddin-_

_"You're __**engaged**__?!," exclaimed Piper. "Glad to see you weren't too heartbroken by my incarceration."_

_"I was going to tell you. I just didn't know how."_

_Piper was no longer crying. "Yeah, 'sorry Piper. While you were at the lowest point in your life, I was off fraternizing with some girl while planning our fucking future of white-fences, soccer games, and family cookouts' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue."_

_"There's nothing wrong with wanting a conventional lifestyle, Piper," retorted Larry, growing defensive. "And as I recall, you weren't exactly pining away for me in prison. Unless your way of showing that you missed me is eating out your ex girlfriend in a Chapel."_

_"Fuck you," hissed Piper. "Fuck you and your stupid, oblivious, suburban, heteronormative life. You don't know what it's like in a fucking prison. You don't know what I've been through. You don't get me."_

_"No, I don't," answered Larry in a suddenly calm voice. "And therein lies the problem."_

After that, Piper never again heard from Larry. Following a few one night stands and a particularly nasty drug binge with a girls who resembled a certain black-haired beauty from her past, she realized one morning as awoke naked next to yet another stranger, head throbbing from a wicked hangover, that she needed seriously to get her shit together.

And she did.

Despite her criminal record, Piper managed to get into a fairly reputable accounting program at a local university and, shortly after graduation, managed to land a good job as a CPA at a firm in Twinsburg, Ohio. Though far away, she accepted the opportunity with zeal. Finally, she had a chance to reinvent herself.

For the first time in her life, she tried.

She tried to appear interested when her female colleagues engaged in frivolous gossip about attractive men at the firm. She tried not to talk about her past. She tried to abandon any and all lesbian tendencies. And she tried to permanently rid herself of her destructive ways. And, with some practice, she succeeded. She was accepted into the inner circle of the cliquish, conventional women at work. She excelled at her bean-counting 9-5 job. She was, by all counts, normal for the first time in her life. Even her perpetually strained relationship with her parents began to improve.

Though she never told her new friends anything about her dark past, she found she somewhat enjoyed spending time with them, albeit in small doses. Though part of her longed for the passion of her past – of Alex – the rational side of her knew it was better, much safer this way, in her conventional, if not boring life. And so when John Kerwings, a conventional man, normal by anyone's standards, asked her on a date, she said yes. When he asked her to be his girlfriend, she said yes. When he asked her to join his Church, she said yes. When he asked her to marry him, she said yes. Although ordinary, John Kerwings was a good man, decent in bed, with a stable income, and everything she needed to safeguard herself against the unpredictability of the world. They had a reasonable marriage and were reasonably happy, granted she would never tell him any details about her time in prison or with Alex.

Alex.

To this day, that name made Piper's heart skip a beat. While part of her longed to see her again, she knew, logically, that Alex was either in jail, a foreign country, or – considering her line of work – dead. Piper cringed at the very thought of the woman she once loved lying lifeless and made it a habit to regularly read the newspapers and watch the news for any sign of her.

Truth be told, her ordinary, conventional life was going well. That is, until she saw _her. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, guys. Here's an update. I hope you enjoy it and, though I'm not one to beg, please, please, please review - critiques, not necessarily compliments, so I know if this story is working or if I should abandon it all together and go back to doing real-world stuff.**

**Thank you.**

* * *

She said her name was Leisha.

But Piper was experienced enough to know that that probably wasn't her real name. From the start, Piper had been suspicious of her. Her perfect, almost forced, American accent despite her fully Haitian ethnicity, her ability to answer questions regarding where she was from and why she was there with a quick, almost frantic efficiency as though her answers had been rehearsed, her young age, and most of all, her irregular appearances. The girl claimed to be nineteen and a freshmen at Ohio State who was interested in accounting and given Jared Lockheart, their supervisor's, permission to intern with the firm throughout the year. However, Leisha didn't look nineteen – Piper suspected in actuality that she was in her early twenties.

Moreover, she didn't keep the regular hours that one would expect of an intern – in fact, she would disappear for months at a time in between visits. Though none of these reasons in and of themselves were reasons to doubt the girl's credibility, the sum of them compounded by the fact that even when she did arrive to "intern" at the office, she would arrive with a small, black brief case, enter the office of her supervisor, close the blinds in the windows, and stay there for long periods of time.

When she finally exited the office, she would always leave without the suitcase. Upon being asked about the briefcase, Leisha had looked uneasy, sarcastically asking if she was being interrogated to diffuse the tension before offering that the brief case contained assignments that she wanted Lockheart to look over for her accounting class. Piper could have sworn that her American accent wavered during her suspicious explanation.

As a former drug user and dealer, albeit at Alex's behest, Piper knew for a fact that Lockheart did heroin, ecstacy, cocaine, or some other sort of hard drug. All the signs were there – the pale skin that he attributed to his Irish heritage, the shaky hands that he blamed on caffeine, his sporadic attendance at work and dark circles under his eyes, both of which he attributed to his newborn baby's "medical problems." After months of watching Leisha, Piper had little doubt, given her own unfortunate experience, that the girl was a drug mule and probably working for an international drug cartel.

And though Piper tried like Hell to convince herself she didn't care – the fact was, she couldn't get Leisha out of her mind. Not because of physical attraction, but because of the possibility that the Haitian girl could somehow be connected to Alex. Or even working for her.

Though logically, Piper knew that there were a host of international drug cartels and that this girl could belong to any of them, with each visit, Piper's curiousity – and, though she'd never admit it – thoughts of Alex, began to grow. After Leisha's last visit, Piper had been unable to quiet the millions of questions racing through her mind: Does she know Alex? Is Alex still in Litchfield? Does she work for her? Is she fucking her? Piper felt her stomach churn at the thought of the last one. Though Piper went about her normal life, attending Church despite her skepticism, setting the dinner table, arranging firm picnics and events, making love with John, shopping for baby supplies, and dealing with the host of complications that come with being pregnant, she couldn't get Leisha – or the possibility of Alex being nearby - out of her head. Quietly, she waited for Leisha's next visit. Hoping.

And one particularly cold January morning, her hopes were realized as the familiar face appeared in the firm, enthusiastically greeting her co-workers in her perfect Americanized English. Diverting her attention away from the bank statements she'd been reviewing, Piper watched as Leisha, as per her usual way, slipped into Lockheart's office with yet another small, dark suitcase – Piper suspected it contained cocaine. She waited for Leisha to exit the office, hoping her colleagues wouldn't notice that she wasn't listening as they recounted their winter holidays.

After what seemed like an eternity, the girl quietly exited Lockheart's office, looking around her as though to ensure that no one had witnessed the illegal activity that had just taken place. Quickly rejecting her friends' invitation to join them at a local restaurant for lunch with the half-assed excuse that she had to catch up on some work for a particularly demanding client, Piper strode quickly toward the girl, not wanting to give her a chance to escape.

"Leisha," she said in a falsely saccharine voice. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, increasing her pace toward the firm exit. "How are you? I hear you're balancing the books for a new business in town. What's it called?"

"_Sweet Dreams_, it's a mattress store. Listen, there's this new program that we're using and I wondered if you wanted me to show it to you, really quickly. I've got it downloaded on the computer, right in my office."

"Oh, no thank you. I really should get going. I don't want to be late for my calculus cla-

Not giving Leisha a chance to process what was happening, Piper grabbed the girl by the arm and forcibly dragged her into her office, locking the door behind her.

"Listen, here," she snarled. "I know who, and more importantly _what _you are."

Leisha's eyes widened. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!," she stammered, hints of her native accent beginning to creep into her vernacular.

Feeling an unexpected fit of rage swelling inside her, Piper, without thinking, shoved the girl against her office wall, causing framed pictures of John and his family to come crashing to floor with a loud thud.

"Bullshit. You must think I'm a fucking idiot if you think I believe that!"

"What do you want from me?!," whimpered Leisha in a frightened tongue, her American accent completely gone.

"I want to know who you work for."

"No," replied Leisha, in a scared but defiant tone. "I-I won't give my boss up."

"Listen, bitch!," Piper hissed, bending her knees so she could look straight into the girl's eyes. "I've been to fucking prison. I beat a girl to death and, if you don't tell me who the fuck you work for, I will call the police right now and smash you to a fucking pulp while they get here."

For a moment, Leisha went silent, as though contemplating her options.

"O-okay," she agreed. "But puh-please don't tell her I told you. She'll kill me."

Feeling a twinge of compassion, Piper nodded.

"I won't tell her," Piper reassured her in a calm voice, keeping the girl pinned against the wall.

Leisha took a breath, trying to calm her frantically beating heart.

"Lisa Giannopolis."

Piper felt her heart stop.

Lisa Giannopolis.

She knew that name. But how? How did she know her? Where had she heard that name before? Then suddenly it hit her like a train.

Alex.

_"Alex," laughed Piper, as she lazily rolled out of bed, naked after a heated session of love making. Her girlfriend was seated at a computer, also naked, and typing away frantically. _

_"You're my little workaholic," she said, as she kissed her cheek._

_"Not now, babe," Alex pleaded as she turned away from Piper's embrace. "A problem came up."_

_"What kind of problem?," asked Piper as she sat on a chair beside Alex._

_"One of my former drug mules started her own business."_

_"So? I thought former mules got arrogant and started businesses that fail all the time."_

_"They do," Alex, explained, her eyes glued to the screen. "The only problem is, this time, it's not failing. It's actually cutting into my profits."_

_"Oh," replied Piper. "Which mule is behind it?"_

_"Lisa Giannopolis."_

Leisha's boss knew Alex. Alex's business was probably among her business's greatest competitors. Surely, Giannopolis must know – or at least have a relative idea – of where Alex was or, at least, if she was still in jail or alive.

"Is your boss in the area with you?"

Leisha nodded, unsure as to where this was going.

"Take me with you to see her."

* * *

Realizing that Piper had no interest in sabotaging the cartel or sicking the authorities on her or Giannopolis, Leisha agreed with surprisingly little reluctance. That is, after Piper paid her a hundred dollars. Leisha agreed to wait with Piper until the end of the business day. Then, Piper would follow her in her car to wherever Giannopolis was located. She called John and let him know that she'd be home a little later than usual, citing 'work complications' as her excuse. Piper followed closely Leisha's camry with her SUV, lest the girl attempt to ditch her. After about a forty five minute drive, Leisha parked in a driveway of a nondescript, white ranch-house just outside the town. There were no surrounding houses or buildings, Piper noted. It was the perfect place for inconspicuous drug dealing in a small town like Twinsburg.

Leisha got out of the car.

"Come inside with me," Piper demanded, suspecting that Leisha had brought her to the wrong location and intended to ditch her.

Leisha nodded, reached for a key ring in her purse, and unlocked the door.

"We deal here often," Leisha explained. "We figured we might as well get a house in town."

Half-listening, Piper stepped inside, surveying the area. It appeared abandoned.

"Let me go get her," offered Leisha as she began to climb the steps. Piper took the opportunity to look around at the generic furniture, her mind racing.

Why do I care where Alex is? She thought. I've moved on, made a name for myself, I have a baby on the way. Why am I sabotaging my life like this?

Before she could come up with any answers, she was greeted by a tall, blond, elegant looking woman who appeared to be in her mid thirties, eying her cautiously as she descended down the stairs.

"Hello, there," said Giannopolis in a surprisingly friendly tone. "Come have a seat over there on the couch."

Piper complied, feeling nervous as the woman took a seat beside her.

"Can I get you anything? Soda? Coffee?"

Pipe shook her head, getting straight to the chase.

"Ms. Giannopolis, I'm not here to cause you any trouble. My name is-

"Oh, I know very well who you are, my dear," she said, smiling. "You're Alex's girlfriend. You were all she talked about when I worked under her. I heard all about you – that is, until I surpassed her and her company."

"Well, not exactly. We sort of split up," Piper explained, ignoring the arrogance laced in the other woman's voice.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I haven't seen her years, actually. I was kind of hoping you could, um, tell me where she is?"

Giannopolis laughed lightly. "And what makes you think I know where she is?"

Piper fought the urge to roll her eyes – she needed to stay on this woman's good side.

"You were one of her biggest rivals. I know from my conversations with her that the two of you never got along and that your resentment toward her is part of the reason you started your own business. I'd imagine that you've been keeping at least some sort of tabs on her."

Giannopolis raised her eyebrows in incredulity.

"Keeping _tabs_ on her? I forgot all about her. And by the looks of it, you should, too," replied Giannopolis, gazing at Piper's slightly swollen, very pregnant, abdomen.

Piper could feel the hope she hadn't even realized she had fading.

"So, you can't help me?"

"Sorry, my dear," answered Giannopolis, standing up from the couch and walking back toward the stairs.

"Wait!," Piper cried, hating herself for sounding so desperate. Hearing the pitiful tone of her voice, Giannopolis stopped, her back still facing Piper.

"Ms. Giannopolis, please. I can't explain it, I just…need to know that she's alright."

Piper heard Giannopolis sigh and begin to climb the stairs.

Shaking her head in disappointment and ignoring the stare of Leisha, who had been listening from the top of the stairs, Piper began to walk toward the exit of the house.

"She's back in the Litchfield prison."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey, guys. Just a quick note - when Piper said to Leisha in the last chapter that she beat Tiffany to death, she was exaggerating. For purposes of this fanfiction, Tiffany is alive and well - trust me, it will be very important in upcoming chapters. Secondly, thank you all so much for the reviews - I read all of them and they are honestly what motivates me to spend as much time as I do on this story. Stick with it, please - I can promise the unexpected. Oh, and please review this chapter and let me know what you think of the direction in which I am taking it. Thank you. **_

* * *

_BACK in Litchfield?! _Piper thought as she drove toward her home. _How could Alex be so stupid?! Isn't the fact that she spent YEARS in prison enough to deter her from breaking the law again? _

Piper sighed, knowing the answer to her own question: no.

No matter what the consequence, Alex did what and who Alex wanted, ever since the day she dropped out of high school without even bothering to get her GED. _It doesn't matter to her that she's fucking brilliant and throwing her life away; not so long as getting high with the cartel keeps lining her pockets with hundred dollars bills the moment she gets out. _

As Piper pulled into her driveway and looked at her nice, conventional house, she was surprised to feel anger interlaced with her sadness and pity. _Alex could've had this. WE could have had this…together. If she would only stop thinking she can free fall through life._

Knowing fully well that Alex would never come to such realizations, wasn't one for nice, conventional houses, and would very well continue doing what she wanted until her last say on Earth, Piper took a deep, cleansing breath and attempted to put all thoughts of Alex behind her as she opened the front door. It was unlocked. John must be home.

"Surprise!," an array of voices shouted at a thoughtful and introspective Piper.

Startled, Piper jumped back, her heart racing until she observed the sight in front of her.

Above her living room hung a large, blue banner that said: _It's a Boy! _As she gazed across her living room and recognized the faces of her female colleagues, Piper realized that this must have been what all the whispering had been about at work today. Granted, she had been mostly focused on Leisha, but she'd noticed an unusual amount of apparent secrecy amongst her peers. Noticing the pile of wrapped gifts on the kitchen table, Piper flashed them a genuine smile. This was nice of them; they didn't have to do this.

"Oh, you guys! I told you I didn't need a baby shower."

"We know, honey," replied Raina, an elderly, maternal woman with whom Piper worked and even sort of admired. "But we just had to throw you one. Your little one is coming in a matter of months!"

"Have you finally picked out a name? You've really put it off," commented Leah, one of Piper's co-workers for whom she didn't particularly care. Though well intentioned, Leah had grown up entitled and reminded Piper, much to Piper's dismay, of her pre-Litchfield self. Nosy. Arrogant.

"No, Leah," replied Piper. "John and I are still discussing it. And speaking of John, where is he?"

"We sent mistuh Mustache out houwahs ago," announced Taylor, an accountant in a neighboring firm, in a thick New York accent that Piper had always suspected was of the same quality as Taylor's breasts and nose: fake.

"Yeah, he'll be back later tonight," explained Raina.

Though her recent knowledge of Alex's whereabouts had put her in even less of a mood than usual for extra socialization with the fellow female accountants, Piper forced a smile.

"This is wonderful, you guys. I am truly Blessed. Thank you."

"You're welcome, kid!," exclaimed Jocelyn, one of the firm's secretaries, in her shrill voice as she assaulted Piper with a hug. Trying to shrug off the memories of Alex that inundated her mind upon hearing the familiar nickname, Piper half-heartedly returned the hug and braced herself for what was bound to be a long evening of 'ooohh's', 'aaahhh's', and conversations about pumping breast milk, harboring the suspicion that Alex would never leave her mind.

* * *

The next few hours confirmed her suspicion. Though she tried to engage in conversation, her mind was otherwise occupied with worrying about - and, admittedly harboring frustration - toward her former lover.

"And after my third one, the vaginal dryness was really starting to, you know, make things a bit, well, rough. Thank God for lubricant!"

A burst of boisterous laughter filled the living room as the women, most of whom were married with kids, began recounting their experiences – Piper's attempts to change the subject notwithstanding – with sex during and following pregnancy. Piper had just finished opening the generous pile of baby-related presents, had finished cleaning up the piles wrapping paper which had accumulated on the carpet during the process, and, out of appreciation for their kindness, was doing her best to listen to what they were saying.

Unfortunately for her, it wasn't going well. Praying they wouldn't inquire into her sex life, Piper took the opportunity to survey the smiling faces around her. Though a few were Asian or African American, the majority of her female friends in Twinsburg were white. And though externally different, internally they all appeared the same – privileged, upper middle class, Catholic, heterosexual, married, conservative, and, to varying extents, entitled women who all grew up in households with parents who were also privileged, heterosexual, married, conservative, Catholic, and upper middle class. It's not that they were bad people. Just conventional.

While Piper had been eating Alex out in St. Tropez to congratulate her after a major deal, these women had been getting engaged, drinking wine, and planning their white-dress, Church-held, five-layer cake, origami napkin place-setting weddings. Though Piper knew she looked and, as of late, had become better at acting like one of them, she knew she was different and that she would never be truly close with any of them. It wasn't as if she could ever tell them about Alex or Litchfield – she knew most of them subscribed to conservative politics and regarded homosexuality as one of many taboo subjects that just shouldn't be discussed.

Truth be told, John was the only one in Twinsburg who knew about her stint in women's prison but, to her relief, had agreed not to tell anyone and, to his credit, didn't think any less of Piper. Granted, her didn't know very much about why she was there, what she had done or, most importantly, _who_ she had done while an inmate. He knew that she had gotten involved with drug dealing by accident because of her significant other - he presumed boyfriend - at the time. Though he would occasionally ask her how Litchfield prison compared with their life now, he never pressed for extensive detail which was good. Although she loved him, John was someone with whom she would never feel comfortable telling about prison. He was far too waspy. And conventional.

"And I heard her son even sold her daughter cigarettes. On _school property_," gossiped one of Piper's co-workers whose name she didn't quite remember. Her interested slightly piqued, Piper turned her attention back to the conversation at hand. It took every ounce of self control she had not to roll her eyes at the scandalized shock each of the women. As she – very badly – pretended to be surprised at such behavior, she couldn't help but smirk. If they thought a seventeen year old boy selling cigs was bad, she could only imagine their reaction if they knew that she had an ex-girlfriend who was an _international drug dealer_. Piper found her attention again shifting from the group and, to her surprise, found herself reminiscing about the time her and Alex had spent together in Norway.

_"Alex!," Piper exclaimed as her girlfriend quickly entered their hotel room, shut the door behind her, grabbed Piper's arm, pulled her onto their hotel bed. _

_"What, kid? Miss me?," Alex asked teasingly as she kissed Piper roughly and began to slide her hands under her shirt._

_"Now hold on," Piper protested as best she could, trying to ignore the throbbing between her legs. "You've been away all day and neither of us has even eaten yet."_

_Alex looked at her, a hint of exasperation on her frustratingly beautiful face. "Pipes, you know I was closing a deal. I told you I'd be back in time for dinner and it's…" she looked at her watch. "Eight forty-five. Shit. Those reservations were at eight weren't they? I suck. I'm sorry."_

_Seeing the adorable look of concern on her girlfriend's face immediately melted any previous frustration. Realizing that it was impossible for her to stay angry at Alex, especially when all she wanted to do right now was fuck her, Piper grabbed her face and kissed her. Pulling away, Piper lovingly stroked Alex' s cheek._

_"It's okay. I knew as soon as you told me you'd be home around eight fifteen that I should probably push them back an hour and a half. We have time."_

_Alex smiled and began unzipping Piper's pants. "Good, because I want to eat you first."_

_Alex started by pulling off Piper's shirt and throwing it to the floor with reckless abandon. Leaving a trail of kisses along her stomach and pelvic area, Alex pulled Piper's black thong off in haste and smiled in delight at the thick, wetness. Expertly, Alex began to oscillated between sucking her clit and pushing her tongue into Piper's center. _

_"I huh..heart you, Alex!," Piper screamed as she climaxed, fumbling over her words as she came, using Alex's arm to muffle the sound as the other woman's laps brought her to orgasm._

_Taking a deep breath, Alex kissed her girlfriend and laid beside her._

_"I heart you, too, kid."_

_Piper smiled, hoping that Alex could feel the love radiating off of her sweat-covered body._

_"Promise?"_

_Alex leaned over and kissed her._

_"Yeah."_

* * *

"Piper!," Raina called out. Embarrassed, Piper's attention snapped back to the conservations at hand.

"Where did you go?," asked Taylor. "You're all flushed. What's on your mind?"

_Oh, nothing. I was just thinking of the time my drug-dealing girlfriend ate me out in a foreign country._

"Uh. I was just thinking about the…uh…baby. You know? How difficult it will be to get him to sleep regularly in the beginning," offered Piper weakly, hoping they'd buy it. Fortunately for her, they were all invested in what to them was a scintillating conversation about diaper rash and simply offered her an understanding nod before resuming their chatter.

"Piper, I have a question," announced Leah in a snobbish tone. "Father Ray is baptizing your baby, right?"

Piper sighed. Despite belonging to Precious Blood, the small, Catholic Church down the street, she wasn't, by any means, religious.

"Actually, Leah, John and I haven't really talked abo-

"Oh, well you _have _to start discussing these things early, Piper," pontificated Leah as Piper fought to avoid rolling her eyes. "Otherwise, it'll all get thrown together at the last minute and you'll be stuck with Father Max."

"And what's wrong with Father Max?," asked Piper through gritted teeth.

Leah shrugged. "Well, English isn't exactly his first language and he always _insists _on reading certain Scriptural verses no matter how long he's been going on for. Every woman in our Church that I know, including me, has had their babies baptized by Father Ray."

Piper watched in horror as several women seated on her carpeted living room floor began nodding in agreement. Fighting the urge to tell Leah to fuck off, Piper sighed again, this time in relief, as her saving grace came through the front door.

"Well, what's all this?!," cried a familiar masculine voice filled with fake-surprise. "Could it be that my lovely wife is having a baby shower?!"

"John!," greeted Piper, standing up to give her husband a kiss. "You knew about this?"

John pecked her on the lips.

"Of course I did, Pumpkin. You didn't think I was going to let our little one be born unceremoniously, did you?"

Piper frowned slightly. She didn't like that nickname.

"Hi, ladies," John said, walking away from Piper to join her colleagues.

And as she watched her conventional husband join in on the conventional conversation in their conventional home, one thing was clear: though mostly complacent, Piper couldn't deny that she missed more than the wild, unpredictable, free fall life style that she shared with Alex. She missed the beautiful, enigmatic drug dealer herself.

Excusing herself from the loquacious group under the guise that she had to visit the restroom, Piper went to the office she and John shared, pulled out some stationary, and thoughtfully began penning a letter intended for a certain inmate incarcerated in Litchfield Correctional Facility.

* * *

**_This chapter was mainly to establish that Piper, though reasonably happy, doesn't exactly fit into her new life. What do you think?_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so the last chapter was a bit boring - I apologize, but it was necessary. I can pretty much guarantee that you'll like this one much, much more. This story is rated M for a reason, people. Also, I think now is probably a good to point out that this is fanfiction - I own nothing. These aren't my characters.**

* * *

Strumming her fingers on the desk, Piper contemplatively stared at the blank sheet of paper before her. Memories flooded her mind.

_After nearly beating Pennstatucky to death, she had been sent to SHU where she would often awake from restless sleep in tears. She cried for Alex, for Larry, for __**someone**__ to hold her hand and help her accept what was to come and what she'd become. An abundance of time on her hands, Piper's began to think. When her thoughts weren't occupied by Alex, Larry, how angry she was at herself, or how badly she'd fucked up her life, they were ablaze with visions of the worst possible scenarios: twenty years in maximum security, capital punishment, lethal injection, biblical study sessions every night with Doggett for the rest of her life…_

_When, after what seemed like one thousand years, Mendez had rudely informed her that it was time to stand before Judge Maticka, Piper no longer had the capacity for emotion. Though she should have been relieved that the Judge believed her actions were in self-defense and only extended her sentence by three months, meaning she had four months left. Piper could barely bring herself to respectfully acknowledge his Honor's decision. _

_Truthfully, it didn't matter how much time she had left; it wasn't as though she had anyone on the outside who cared if she lived or died. Piper spent part of those last four months of her sentence in a haze – feeling nothing but an occasional twinge of hurt when Alex looked at her with cold eyes or Larry didn't come to visit. She stopped eating. She stopped sleeping. She ignored the concerned looks of Nicky and Yoga Jones. Part of her even wished that Doggett – who, upon realizing that her taunts no longer elicited a reaction, now left her alone – had succeeded in taking her life. _

_But slowly, as her release date came closer and closer, Piper began to feel again. Most of all, she felt anger. At everyone. At Larry for leaving her. At her mother for not doing a better job raising her. At herself for being so fucking fucked up. But mostly, her anger was directed toward the black-haired former drug dealer. Ever since their first encounter, Piper knew that what she felt for Alex was dangerous: wild, passionate, and most unfortunate of all, irrevocable. Even when she felt numb, Piper was always conscious of her undying love for Alex. And when she did feel, she felt that very same love course through her veins – she could feel it in her marrow: she fucking loved Alex Vause. And it was because of that – because Alex no longer reciprocated or if she did, she didn't let it show – that very same love that drove her mad. _

_Slowly, the cold looks and refusal to glance in her direction began to wear on her until finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She just couldn't fucking take it. Steely eyed and determined, with only one day left in her sentence, Piper had marched toward Alex's bunk, noting with an internal sigh of relief, that the black hair woman was alone. _

_Alex had looked at her incredulously. _

_"Are you fucking kidding me? I made it very clear that you weren't to come to me, Piper. Who do you think you a-_

_"Shut the fuck up, you addictive, manipulative, bitch!," Piper had snarled with such ferocity that it made both of them jump back. Without thinking, Piper forcefully grabbed Alex's wrist, dragging her with adrenaline-fueled strength to the place of their first sexual encounter in Litchfield prison: the Chapel._

_"What the fuck are you doing?!," Alex asked, though she did not pull her arm away. "If you think for a second that your three months of self-pitying 'woe is me' shit has fixed things between us, then you-_

_"Shut the fuck up and fuck me!," Piper hissed, pressing her lips with so much force against Alex's that it actually hurt._

_Eyes wide, Alex returned Piper's gesture with one of her own: a forceful shove the floor._

_"What the fuck is wrong with you?! You can't just come in here after fucking everyone over and expect me to love you again."_

_"Then don't," answered Piper in a stone cold voice. "Fuck me like you would if I were your stupid, drug mule. Fuck me like I'm some stupid bitch who just fucked up a major deal. Fuck me like I'm the cunt who abandoned you __**twice**__! I don't care. Just make me come."_

_Wordlessly, Alex hoisted Piper off of the floor, and slammed her into the wall with impressive power. Pain shot through Piper's back, but she didn't care. Pulling down the other woman's pants and underwear, Alex jammed three fingers inside her. Piper groaned - it hurt, but she soon forgot her pain as Alex began pumping her fingers in and out, using her palm to keep constant pressure on Piper's clitoris. _

_Piper's breathing quickened – she was getting close._

_Anger fueling her lust, Alex expedited her strokes, increasing her pace as Piper's breathing grew heavier and her center, wetter. In and out, in and out, Alex repeated the motion several times until finally the dysfunctional sex culminated in her curling her fingers while biting her shoulder as hard as she could._

_Using Alex's body to muffle her scream, Piper came hard and afterwards found herself dizzy and lying on the floor, her now-bleeding shoulder throbbing as she watched Alex leave._

_"A…Alex," she attempted meekly, hoping she would hear her as she strode toward the exit._

_"Fuck you," the woman answered, before slamming the Chapel door behind her._

_Piper had been released the next day. She hadn't spoken to Alex since._

"Honey?,"

A sweet, concerned voice broke her thoughts. "Honey, why are you crying?"

Startled, Piper turned to look her husband in his now worry-filled green eyes, frantically wiping her cheeks. Fuck. She hadn't realized she had been tearing up.

"Uh, it's just the hormones... you know?," she offered, lying about the content of her thoughts for the second time that day.

Nodding, John kissed his wife.

"You must be tired. It's been a long day. Everyone's about to head out – you should come down and say good-bye, everyone's been wondering where you are."

Forcing a smile, Piper interlaced her fingers with her husband's, re-entered the living room, thanked everyone again, and said a bunch of conventional good-byes, her unfinished letter – and Alex, never once leaving her mind.

* * *

Fifteen crumpled sheets of paper and three hours later, Piper threw up her hands in frustration. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get the words to sound the way she wanted them to.

It was five o'clock on Sunday. John was away watching a football game at a friend's house and Piper had taken advantage of the opportunity to attempt to pen a letter to Alex. To say the least, it wasn't going well. Ultimately, Piper couldn't shake the knowledge that Alex was still angry at her, she might even had her. Deep down, however, Piper knew with almost certainty that as much as the black haired beauty might resent her, she still loved her. All she needed to do was get her to realize that.

Groaning, Piper threw away yet another rough draft of her letter – this was much, much harder than she thought. What was she going to say? That she was sorry she'd picked Larry? That she thought of her almost every day despite the fact that they hadn't spoken in three years? Of one thing Piper was certain: she didn't want to push Alex away. For that reason, Piper ultimately decided to keep the letter fairly light.

_Hi Alex,_

_ I know what you're thinking: why on Earth would I decide to write you a letter – to give a shit about you – after not speaking to you for three years and hurting you for over ten? Well, that's a question that I've been asking myself and I think I finally found the answer: you're inevitable to me, whether it be in a romantic capacity or not. I heard that you're back in Litchfield and I worry about you. I wonder how you're doing. I wonder what you're eating. I wonder who you're fucking in the showers. I wonder if Doggett is still bothering you and lecturing you on how you won't be invited onto the Rapture bus. I know you don't owe me anything – God knows it's the other way around, I owe you so much more than an apology – but if you find it in your heart to write me back, even if it's to tell me to go fuck myself, at least let me know that you're okay, that you're there._

Piper hadn't bothered signing the letter – she knew Alex would know it was from her. She could only imagine the reactions of the other inmates. She pictured an entire cafeteria of them laughing as Alex stood on a table and read the entire thing out loud as the corrections offers made poor attempts to conceal their laughter. But she didn't care. All she wanted was for Alex to know that she hadn't ceased to matter in Piper's world.

* * *

Three days passed in a blur. Then a week. Then four weeks. Each day after work, Piper would make a bee-line for the mailbox, her heart pounding, hoping that there would be a letter from Alex sitting in her conventional yellow mailbox.

But there never was. And though, after nearly a month of waiting for a response, Piper should have gotten used to the crushing disappointment she felt each time Alex failed to reply, she never did. But she didn't give up. On the contrary, she tried harder.

She sent Alex _multiple letters _talking about everything and anything except John and the fact that she was pregnant with his child – her current thoughts on politics, her newest purchase at the mall, her disgust at the immature and sometimes school-girlish behavior exhibited by her colleagues, everything.

It became an obsession, a mission with only one goal in mind: a response. The more Alex ignored her, the more letters Piper wrote. Even John had noticed that his wife was penning a massive amount of mail to Litchfield Federal Prison. Piper had offered him the explanation that she was writing to an old friend, with the justification that just because people did bad things, didn't mean that they themselves were bad. John had simply nodded in his usual way, noting that a cousin of his worked as a public defender in the area and sometimes represented the inmates. Though the lack of response on Alex's part was disheartening and disconcerting, Piper refused to give up, penning letter after letter, expressing thought after thought, until finally, a thin envelope from Litchfield Federal Prison arrived in her mailbox.

Almost rabid with excitement, Piper tore open the envelope, desperate to see what Alex had said. Inside was a crumpled piece of paper with only five words hastily scrawled across the page in black ink.

_Would you do it again?_

Knowing Alex well enough to know that she was referring to Piper picking Larry, Piper immediately composed another letter, this time, containing only one word: _no_.

* * *

**How do you think Alex will respond? As always, please review and let me know what you think**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Guys, thanks so much for your continued support. Just so you know, there will be binge-updating going on. I really need to get this story out of me before school starts and I have to do for realsies stuff. Please**__** review**._

* * *

As she parked her car in the nearly empty lot and gazed out at the federal prison that was far too familiar to her, Piper closed her eyes and reminded herself that she needed to breathe. Just because she was back in Litchfield and seconds away from seeing Alex didn't mean that she needed to panic.

Oh, who the hell was she kidding? Ever since Alex had answered her letters, she had yet to _stop _panicking. She couldn't get the possibilities of what Alex would say out of her head. In response to Piper's insistence that, if again given the choice, she wouldn't have picked Larry, Alex had mailed another letter, this time containing only four words:

_What do you want?_

_I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out,_ Piper thought. What did she want? Did she want Alex back? Or did she just want to know that she was okay? Of one thing, Piper was positive: she still cared deeply for Alex and hadn't hesitated in expressing so in her answer.

_I've thought about you every day_ _since I've been out. I was so afraid you were hurt or dead. I want to see you, talk to you, and know that you're okay or close to it_. _And if you're not, I want to help make it better. I care._

Alex, in turn, sent a six word reply:

_You know when visiting hours are. _

Alex agreeing to put her on her visitation list both surprised and delighted Piper. She immediately began making arrangements to get to Litchfield Federal prison after telling Alex to expect her that weekend – though she would never admit her plans to John, her fellow Church go-ers, or her workmates, all of whom attributed her lack of focus that week to pre-occupation with thoughts of the baby. And though not entirely right, they also weren't entirely wrong.

Much to her surprise, Piper was delighted that she would soon be a mother. Having a child for whom to care was the one 'normal' thing Piper had always wanted and she couldn't wait to love and raise the little baby boy whom she and John had decided would be named Michael. A conventional name, of course, but Piper didn't care. She already loved everything about him, including his unoriginal name. Unfortunately, as she sat in the parking lot under grey skies, gazing out at Litchfield federal prison, not even thoughts of little Michael could distract her from what she was about to do. She was just grateful that John's college reunion had afforded her an opportunity to travel to Litchfield over the weekend without offering an explanation. Being the good man that he was, John had asked Piper to come with him, but she could tell that he wanted this time for himself and declined. She understood. He wanted to reminisce about his college days, his old life, without having to entertain and fuss over his wife.

Taking a deep breath, smiling slightly as she appreciated how quiet Michael was being – during the earlier stages of her pregnancy, he had been relentless with the kicking – Piper headed inside toward the federal prison in which she'd spent by far the most traumatizing year of her life.

Any semblance of excitement that Piper felt was immediately killed by the sight of Healy, eying her suspiciously and with disgust as she entered the visitation room. She looked around – it was every bit as dingy, dirty, and uninviting as she remembered. She could feel the judgmental stares of nearly every inmate and C.O in the room. Reassuring herself for the millionth time that their opinions were irrelevant, Piper took a seat at an empty nearby table and scanned the room. No Alex. Piper felt her heart beat quicken as quiet talking began to fill the room, half convinced they were talking about _her._

_Stop being irrational, Pipes. So what if you're a pregnant former inmate visiting the woman she used to fuck in the Chapel who now hates her._

Nothing out of the ordinary there, right?

Just as the fear of Alex not coming began to creep into her mind, Piper watched, paralyzed with both fear and anticipation, as her former girlfriend entered the room and sat down, leaning back with an unreadable expression on her face.

Alex's expression remained opaque, even as she took notice of Piper's protruding belly. Alex looked different somehow. Her hair was still the same length, she was still the same weight, she was still wearing the same black glasses and the same hideous beige jail suit, and she was still lining her green eyes with the same dark liner, but she looked as though the last three years had taken a toll on her. She looked older, somehow – the creases in her forehead and around the edges of her mouth more pronounced, though she was still undeniably gorgeous. An awkward silence hung in the air.

"You've only got about eight minutes left. Unless you came to stare at me like I've sprouted a fourth head."

The corners of Piper's mouth lifted slightly – Alex and her perpetual sarcasm.

"I," Piper began. Pitiful. "I…," she tried again. Still nothing.

"You what?," asked Alex in a monotone voice, her eyes boring into Piper's.

"H-how are you?," Piper managed to choke out, finally, cringing at her lack of social grace and hoping that Alex couldn't tell that her heart was pounding.

Alex shrugged. "Same as always. Food's still crappy, Doggett's still crazy, and Morello still thinks Christopher will come around."

"Doggett's _still_ here?," asked Piper, genuinely interested and forgetting for a second her insecurities. "I thought for sure she'd be out by now. The judge only gave her two years for our altercation."

Alex rolled her eyes.

"Believe it or not, not everything has to do with you. Someone else "disrespected" her, she sensed weakness, and she attacked. It's what she does."

"Just like Jesus would do," retorted Piper sarcastically.

Alex raised her eyebrows in agreement and, for a second, Piper could swear she saw a hint of smile before the same unreadable expression resumed its position on Alex's countenance.

"Look, Chapman, I know that you didn't drive here from bumblefuck Ohio just to gossip about a crazy meth head. Get to point."

So much for social niceties.

Piper decided to go with honesty; though it had fucked her over countless times in the past, perhaps this time it was truly the best policy.

"Look," she began. "There's a drug mule that comes into the accounting firm where I work to deliver to my boss."

"Okay…so?," responded Alex, not seeing the relevance.

"So, she works for _Lisa Giannopolis_."

Surprised to hear the name of the competitor about whom she hadn't thought in a long time, Alex's eyes widened before her face assumed its apathetic expression.

Encouraged by Alex's interest, Piper continued, speaking with increasing confidence. Maybe she was getting somewhere, after all.

"So, I bribed her with a one hundred dollar bill to tell me where her boss was and I went to Giannopolis."

"Why?," asked Alex, a confused look materializing on her beautiful face.

"Because, I wanted to know where you were and figured she'd know – or at least whether or not you were still alive."

Alex snorted and emitted a short, disingenuous chuckle.

"I was wondering how you found out I was back here. I only had a year left to go when you were released."

Piper nodded. "Alex, I'm not going to ask you why you're back in pris-

"Good," replied Alex, coldly. "Because it's none of your business."

Piper returned her sentiment with a knowing look.

"Drugs? _Again_?"

"Fuck off," Alex spit. "It's not my fault that I was double crossed."

_No, but none of this would have happened if you hadn't been selling drugs in the first place._

Piper shook her head, pushing her thoughts aside. Her time was dwindling and the last thing she wanted to do was get into an argument.

"Alex, I just wanted, no _needed_, to know that you're oka-

"No!," said Alex, loudly, her previously dull eyes now lit with fiery anger. "You don't get to do that!"

"Keep it down, inmate!," shouted Mendez from across the room, staring at Piper.

Had she not been so focused on Alex, Piper would have rolled her eyes – it was a true testament to the corruption of the system that Mendez hadn't been fired and forced to register as a sex offender by now.

"Do what?," asked, Piper, softly.

Alex narrowed her eyes. "This. Coming in here to see how I am, writing me a bunch of fucking letters, pretending that you care about me when you _destroyed_ my life, Piper."

Piper felt her heart sink.

"You took everything I had, all my love, all of my vulnerabilities, and you threw them in my fucking face." The volume of Alex's voice was rising. "And now, after three God-damn years, you waltz in with your fucking wedding ring, pregnant with your fucking bab-

"Do _not _talk about Michael that way," interrupted Piper, placing her hands protectively over her abdomen.

Alex snorted. "Michael? Real original. And Piper, this isn't about him, it's about the fact that after years of not giving two shits about me-

"Alex, that's not true!,"

"Shut up," demanded Alex, glaring at her and ignoring Mendez's dirty looks. "Even when we were together, you never cared about me. You never treated me as a person with feelings – all you cared about was yourself. You only picked Larry because it was easier for _you_. Everything is always about _you_. You are, by far, the most self-absorbed person I know. Fuck, the only reason you even came here today is because _you _feel guilty and want to make _yourself_ feel better."

Shaken by the bitter accusations and partial truths, Piper took a breath. This was not about her; she understood that Alex was angry. She would not stoop to the other woman's level by hurling insults. Instead, she would offer something long overdue: an apology.

"I know that I made mistakes and I'm not proud of what I did. I spent every day of those last four months wanting to take it all back. You asked me if I would do what I did over again and the truth is, no. I wouldn't. Hurting you has always been my greatest regret and, in the end, he left me anyway. I'm just so incredibly sorry for playing with your feelings the way I did. I know you don't believe me and I don't expect you to, but I hope that maybe one day, though I don't deserve it, you'll forgive me. I do care about you."

Alex's face resumed its apathetic posture. Piper felt herself getting frustrated.

"You know," Piper added impulsively, fighting to keep her diplomatic tone. "You hurt me, too, Alex. When we were together the first time, you put me in danger with the international drug cartel. You used sex to manipulate me. And Larry left me because of the things that _you _said."

"Please," Alex smirked remorselessly. "You loved being with me, you loved feeling like you were big and bad and special because in reality you were nothing but a boring, conventional bitch from New England. As far as sex goes, you know that you fucking begged for it every time. You were so physically needy, it was pathetic."

Alex cast her an arrogant look. "Fuck, I'll bet your cunt's throbbing right now, just sitting across from me." Piper clenched her teeth – Alex was trying to irk her. And there was no way she was going to let her.

Pausing, as though carefully considering her next words, Alex leaned in, two inches away from Piper's face and brought her voice to a near whisper. "And as far as Larry goes, as far as I'm concerned, I did the guy a service. He dodged a bullet." Alex then lowered her piercing gaze to Piper's swollen abdomen before adding, "Can't say the same for that poor child."

_Too. Fucking. Far. _

Piper felt something inside of her snap. She saw red, her resolve to practice diplomacy crumbling like a sand castle beneath the tide.

"Fuck you, Alex. Seriously, fuck you!," Piper snarled in a voice loud enough to get the attention of a very intrigued Mendez – along with that of the people around her, most of whom had discontinued their conversations and were listening in.

"You _really _want to talk about destroying lives? Maybe I hurt you, maybe I hurt Larry, but Alex, whether or not you realize it, _you _have helped destroy **_thousands_**, maybe even **_millions _**of people!"

For the first time all conversation, Alex sat straight up and paid full attention to what Piper was saying.

"What the fuck are you talking ab-

"The fucking heroin, Alex! When you broke the law countless time to smuggle that shit across international borders, you didn't think about the fact that those hundreds of thousands of pounds of narcotics went to _people_. People who needed _help. _People's whose fucking _toxic _addictions _you _helped fuel!"

Painfully aware of the fact that nearly the room was eavesdropping, Alex grew defensive.

"I never forced them to use the dru-

Piper cut her off, not about to listen to this line of bullshit. "No, Alex, but you made them available so they could! What about the mother who was too busy shooting up to take care of her children?! What about the children fucking _prostituting _themselves on the street to get more of the drug that _you _provided?! What about the father that walked out on his family because he's so God-damn addicted to the drugs that _you _dealt? Huh?! What about – she swallowed, forcing herself to continue – what about the pregnant mother who's going to have a **_stillborn _**because she couldn't stop using the drugs that _you _made available?! Everyone who used those drugs is fucking up their lives!"

Piper lowered her voice, mimicking the threatening whisper Alex had used earlier.

"All. Thanks. To. _You_."

Alex opened her mouth to protest, but Piper – at this point, shaking with rage – refused to let her talk.

"And you know what the worst part is, Alex? It's that you don't recognize that your best quality isn't that you're beautiful, manipulative, or great in bed; it's that you're brilliant. You didn't even go to college and you're one of the smartest people I know. You could do anything! You could change lives; help people _overcome _those addictions instead of fueling them. But you won't. Because you don't care. And you know why? Because you are EVERY bit as self-involved as you claim I am. Fuck you."

Gathering the grey jacket she had taken off and hung over the chair, Piper stood up. There was no way in Hell that she was going to let Alex see her cry. She ignored the shocked, almost frightened looks, on the faces of her newfound audience as she turned her back to Alex. Without looking back at the open-mouthed former drug dealer, Piper walked out the door.

* * *

**What do you guys think will happen next? I promise you, it's not what you expect. Unless you've seen it coming all along and I'm not very good at this whole story-telling business.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**There's absolutely no way that I did Piper's emotions justice in this particular instance. Please forgive my inadequacy.**_

* * *

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Kerwings. But the ultrasound indicated that his heart is no longer beating."

Piper felt bile rise in her throat and she squeezed John's hand. No. No. This couldn't be real. This wasn't happening.

After her visit at Litchfield, Piper had tried to forget Alex entirely by burying herself in baby preparation, but in doing so, she noticed that Michael wasn't kicking as much as usual. In fact, he no longer kicked at all. Concerned, she asked John to take her to the hospital, expecting to be reassured that it was normal, that Michael was only sleeping.

"What?!," cried John, fighting to keep his composure. "Doctor Jacobs, why? The gynecologist told us last time that Michael was fine, that he was on track to be born in January!"

Doctor Jacobs cast them a sympathetic look; she hated delivering news like this. "I'm afraid there's been a placental abruption."

Piper inhaled sharply, tears running down her cheeks. "W-was there any way for me to have known this was happening before h-he died?"

"Sometimes there's vaginal bleeding, but not always. In your case, the bleeding probably stayed in the uterus, behind the placenta which is why you didn't notice it. Most women with placental abruptions also experience back pain and uterine tenderness."

"This is all my fault," Piper said, in a frighteningly calm voice after a moment of contemplative silence. "I felt back pain for _days_, but I thought that it was normal. I never thought…"

Reality beginning to sink in, Piper began to shake. A lump was forming in her throat and she knew she was on the verge of losing it.

"Mrs. Kerwings, there's nothing you could have done," reassured the Doctor, taking her hand. "The signs are often subtle and, even if you had recognized the back pain as symptomatic, there was very little chance that Michael would have survived being born over twelve weeks premature."

Piper sniffled, burying her face in John's bicep as she began to sob. "But there was still a chance." She looked up, gazing at John's tear stained cheeks and knowing that he was every bit as heartbroken as she.

"And now there's none."

"Mrs. Kerwings," Doctor Jacobs said after a few minutes of silence, punctured by the couple's crying.

Piper, who was still holding her hand, turned to look at her.

"I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I'm so terribly sorry, but we're going to have to induce labor today."'

Piper felt her stomach drop; she let go of Doctor Jacob's hand and ran to be sick in the nearest trashcan.

Piper and John had arrived home later that day. Though it was sunny out, the world felt grey and devoid of color. Time seemed to stop. John tried to be strong for her, tried to hold her, but Piper insisted that she needed some alone time, doing her best to ignore the _It's a Boy _sign still strung up across her living room. Fighting back tears, Piper headed up to their room, only to begin sobbing again upon seeing the small, wooden crib placed beside their bed. Michael should have been in her arms; not inside a morgue. John ran into the room, scooping the now hysterical Piper off the floor where she lay face down. This wasn't supposed to be a part of her safe, conventional life.

"Shhhh. Babe, it's okay," he whispered, smoothing her hair as he fought the urge to cry. "We'll get through this. I promise."

* * *

Darkness illuminated by flickering candles hung over the tranquil Church like a bride's veil. Icons adorned with acrylic paint of the Virgin Mother and Christ were only faintly visible in the warm, soft glow. An inviting silence permeated the atmosphere; the Church was empty. Tinged with the faint smell of incense, the air was heavy, as though filled with the thousands of prayers offered quietly by penitent sinners hoping for contrition. Alone, yet not lonely, Piper stepped forward down the isle of the Cathedral, a sense of peace flowing through her veins for the first time since Michael's death.

Afraid to break the silence, Piper quietly ran her fingers over the edge of a pew, not once looking away from the glorious depiction of the Resurrection that occupied the majority of the Cathedral ceiling. Not entirely sure of her intentions or motivations for having visited the beautifully eerie place of Worship, Piper shut her eyes, trying desperately to feel the sense of connection practitioners of all religions claimed was the reason her lungs and heart pulsated. It wasn't that she shunned the idea of a higher entity – on the contrary, she rather liked the idea that the series of seemingly continual misadventure that she called her life had a higher purpose dictated by a Power utterly beyond her comprehension – she had just never given it her complete thought. But no longer could she stand living in Nihilism.

Weary and unsure of herself, Piper knelt down and, for the first time since belonging to Precious Blood, began to pray within the confines of its walls.

"Mr. Christ," she began, keeping in mind her conversation with Pennstatucky. "I know that I'm not a good person. I've smuggled, cheated, lusted, lied, and even almost killed. I know I don't deserve it, but if you could please forgive me, I…I would really like that – or if not, please, please, please just watch over little Michael. And John. …And Alex."

Alex.

Since their most recent encounter, Piper had done everything she could to shun all thoughts of Alex. Despite her heated words to the woman, Piper knew she still loved her. She had always loved her. Ironically, she had first realized this during their first disagreement as a couple.

_It had been a long night out at the local club; Piper had told Alex repeatedly before they'd left that she was exhausted, but Alex insisted she come clubbing with her, adding with a wink that she'd make it worth her while. Piper knew that Alex was an international drug dealer and, in the abstract, could deal with it without too much of a problem. Seeing Alex flirt with other girls in hopes of recruiting them as drug mules, however, was an entirely different story. After four hours of fending off the advances of both men and women, Piper had had enough – the only person she wanted was Alex, who, all night, had been too busy engaging in flirtatious banter with stunning young women. Though she had made it a practice to not watch when Alex did this, this time, Piper couldn't help herself. Piper felt hot jealousy streak through her as she resentfully watched a redhead offer to buy Alex yet another drink. To her chagrin, Alex accepted. _

_"Hey, beautiful. Wanna dance?," asked a nice looking, handsome young man with dark hair and blue eyes. _

_For a moment, Piper stared at him, seriously considering dancing with him for the exclusive purpose of pissing Alex off. Two months ago, she would have, but now that they'd been together for nearly half a year, she realized that she felt things for the black haired woman that made it impossible to focus on anyone but her. Though from what she could tell, these feelings were largely unreciprocated. _

_"No thank you," she replied with as much politeness as she could muster._

_The man frowned, obviously unused to being rejected. _

_"Are you seriously just going to stare at that dyky junkie the entire night?"_

_"She's not a junkie!," snapped Piper, growing defensive._

_"And, from the looks of it, she's not that into you, either." The man raised his eyebrows and disappeared back into the crowd of sweaty bodies._

_Piper felt a stab of pain in her heart. What if he was right? Alex had been practically ignoring her all night. What if she was just using her? Slowly, her exhaustion compounded with her jealousy and insecurities began to eat at her as she watched Alex move from girl to girl, doing her best to return her girlfriend's occasional smiles and remain supportive. Though Alex had opened a tab and told Piper to buy whatever she wanted, Piper wasn't in the mood for alcohol. In fact, she wasn't in the mood for any of this shit – the more she watched Alex, the more nauseated she became. She felt pathetic and, after watching Alex give her number out to yet another potential mule, decided that she couldn't take it anymore. Blue Eyes was right – Alex just wasn't that into her. _

_Not wanting to give Alex the satisfaction of seeing her cry, Piper wordlessly exited the club. She groaned as she realized she'd left her jacket at Alex's house – all she wanted was to go home. After hailing a cab and using her key to unlock the door, Piper entered Alex's house, went into her bedroom where she'd been planning on sleeping, and locked the door behind her. In the dark solitude, she began to silently sob. Fuck her, Piper thought. I'm better than this and deserve to be treated better. Piper wasn't sure how much time had elapsed, but after a period of time, her crying was interrupted by a frantic, worried voice._

_"Piper?!," Alex, called. "Pipes, are you in there?," she called as she banged on her bedroom door after discovering it was locked. "Honey, are you __**crying**__? What's wrong? Did someone hurt you?! Why didn't you answer your phone?"_

_"Fuck off, Alex," Piper had replied, hating that her voice betrayed her sorrow. "Go be with that redhead who looked ready to fuck you right then and there. Or that blonde that wrote her number on your arm."_

_Piper heard Alex sigh outside the door. "Pipes, you know they don't mean anything to me – it's just part of my job, you know that. Why are you so upset?"_

_Because I'm pathetically in love with someone who even a stranger can see isn't that into me, Piper thought bitterly as she ignored Alex's pleas for her to open the door, crawled under the covers, and slipped into a restless sleep._

_Piper soon awoke with a start – at first not realizing where she was. But, as she glanced around the familiar room, all the memories of last night came rushing back to her. She turned to look at the clock: 4:39. She had only been asleep for three hours. Realizing that she couldn't stay locked in Alex's room forever, she decided that slipping out into the night while Alex was asleep and going home to her own apartment was her best bet. Quietly, she opened the door, only to find that it wouldn't budge. She applied more force and got it to move, slightly, but not before she heard a soft "ow."_

_"Alex?," she asked, rubbing her eyes and squinting to see in the dark though the partially opened door._

_"Huh?," the woman had answered, moving out of the way so that Piper could exit the bedroom. Piper looked down at her, she was still wearing her night clothes and, from the looks of it, had been sleeping on the floor._

_"Are you so drunk that you decided to sleep on the carpet?," inquired Piper, not even bothering to hide the disgust in her voice._

_Alex looked at her, confused and slightly hurt. "What? No. I only had one shot tonight. I was sleeping up against the door."_

_"Why?"_

_"So that I wouldn't accidently miss you if you tried to leave."_

_Piper sighed. "What was so urgent that it couldn't wait?"_

_Alex stood up, smoothed her now crumpled black night dress, and took Piper's hands in hers, looking into her eyes. "That I'm sorry I insist on bringing you to the clubs when I have to recruit – that the only reason I do it is because it's by far my least favorite part of the job and I like having you there to remind me why I do the work I do."_

_Piper felt her icy exterior begin to melt. "And why do you do the work you do?"_

_Alex looked at her pointedly. "Because I want to provide for the person I'm in love with."_

_Piper felt her eyes widen – Alex had slept, slumped against a hard door in uncomfortable night clothes for nearly four hours to tell her she was sorry and that she loved her._

_"And, Piper," Alex continued. "When you didn't answer your phone I was so fucking worried. I thought for sure that something had happened or that you'd had enough of my shit and left me or that…_

_Piper couldn't believe it – Alex was actually scared that __**she **__would leave __**her**__. Moreover, her feelings were fully requited. Smiling, Piper wrapped her arms around Alex in a hug and began kissing her way up her neck. Alex responded by gently shoving Piper onto her bed and helping her remove her night club dress. Soon, they were both naked, Alex on top and kissing Piper's lips with an intense need that betrayed her longing for the blonde. Using her free hand to tease Piper's rock hard nipples, Alex slipped two long fingers into Piper's center, making the blonde woman cry out. Alex moved her mouth down to her clitorous sucking it into her mouth. After a few strokes, Alex curled her fingers and Piper came, screaming Alex's name as she rode out her orgasm. Reattaching her lips to Alex's, Piper tried to get on top of her, but Alex refused._

_"Just hold me," she said._

_And hold her she did. The two of them drifted off to sleep. Alex awoke the next day to Piper going down on her, coming after only three minutes of Piper's skilled licks._

_Snuggling up next to Alex, Piper kissed her neck, looked straight into her eyes, and made sure that she had the black haired woman's full attention before telling her that she loved her, too._

No, there was no doubt in her mind that she'd always love Alex. But, for the first time, she had also acknowledged something else: she had to let her go. They weren't right together. She had a husband and a baby to care of. Or at least, she used to.

Piper stiffened and felt tears begin to fall as her mind flooded with thoughts of John and Michael. Shoving all her doubts aside, Piper began to pray for strength – for the strength to endure the pitying looks from her co-workers and parents, for the strength to put away the pictures of Michael's early ultrasounds, for the strength to fix her marriage which, five months following the stillbirth, had begun to crumble as she lost motivation to continue living her conventional life. Piper also prayed for the strength not to burst into tears each time she saw a baby, and, above all, the strength to let go of the fact that, even after all these years, Alex still felt inevitable to her.

* * *

After about half an hour, Piper wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks and, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, began her walk home. She enjoyed the solitude of the quiet, Ohio night. The stars shone brightly above her and, for those few moments, she thought that maybe, just maybe everything was going to be okay. That is, until she arrived home for the first time that day – it had been a long day at work – and John told her that she had received a letter from Litchfield Federal Prison.

Though she should have been surprised, Piper, worn out from the long day, simply nodded and felt numb as she picked up the letter. She went to sit on the couch across from her husband, who was kneeling on the floor, attempting to kindle a fire.

"I love you," she said to him, before opening the envelope. It was the truth. They'd been fighting more lately, but she really did love him.

John walked over to her, bending down to give her a kiss before resuming his position near the fire. "I love you, too."

Leaning back, Piper slowly opened the envelope, surprised to see a page filled with Alex's neat handwriting fall out. Taking a deep breath, Piper began to read.

_Pipes,_

_ I heard about what happened. Apparently, Doggett's public defender is your husband's cousin and she overheard him talking about it over the phone after a court hearing she had. She kept saying that this was God's way of punishing you. That is, until I threatened to lick her pussy while she was sleeping. Apparently, I won't be invited onto the Rapture bus when it comes in 2015... Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry – about everything that I said. You would have been a phenomenal mother – I could tell just by the way you kept looking down at your stomach during our conversation that you loved that baby. I know I said some horrible things to you and I won't ask you to forgive me, but if you could find it in your heart to come visit me, please do. I just want to know you're there. _

_ Love always,_

_Alex_

Tears began to sting her eyes for the second time that day as she marveled at the uncharacteristic tenderness in Alex's words. She read the letter three more times before promptly throwing it into the fire that John was still coaxing to life.

Watching the letter twist and burn in the growing flame, John shot Piper a questioning look.

"I thought that she was your friend?"

Piper shook her head. "You don't know the half of it."

"Sweetie," he said softly, taking her hands in his own. "If talking to her causes you so much distress, why continue?"

Piper sighed before answering.

"She's inevitable to me."

* * *

_She's inevitable to me_.

Piper cursed herself as she stared resentfully out at the building in front of her: Litchfield Federal Prison. Piper felt a mixture of emotions – anger that Alex had the nerve to talk to her after the things she'd said, residual sadness from Michael's untimely death, relief – and she hated herself for it – because Alex still wanted to talk to her and, most prominently, disgust at herself for being so fucking pathetic. One letter from Alex was all it took for her to be back at Litchfield at the former drug dealer's beck and call.

Piper massaged her temples and tried to rationalize her behavior. Was she here because she wanted to hear Alex apologize and grovel for forgiveness? Maybe, though Piper doubted that that would actually happen. Though she would never admit it to herself, Piper knew, deep down, that the reason she was here was because she was going to tell Alex that they needed to let each other go. Feelings didn't change facts: their relationship was toxic. Gathering her bearings, Piper took a breath and went inside. This time she didn't have to ignore the stares of the C.O's; though she suspected that the entire prison probably knew about her stillbirth. She truly didn't care.

Alex was waiting at a table for her, the apathetic expression she had worn last time replaced by a soft, sympathetic one. Piper sat down across from her, gazing at her curiously. It was Alex who spoke first.

"I'd ask how you're feeling, but I can tell just by reading your face."

"Well," replied Piper after a few moments. "At least I can take comfort in the fact that Michael dodged a bullet by not having me as his mother."

Alex cringed; the cruelty of her own words hitting her like ton of bricks. She swallowed.

"I deserved that. I'm so, so sorry, Piper."

Piper lifted her eyes from the spot on the table she'd been staring at. "So am I."

Silence.

Alex tried again.

"Pennstatucky got put in psych again. One of her Bible thumper cronies started blowing Pornstache inside the supply closet for drugs and when she found out, she got so mad that –

"Why is Tiffany always the subject of our conversations when we want to avoid talking about why we're actually here?," Piper asked in a voice devoid of emotion.

Alex nodded. Piper was right. "Pipes, I know things between us have been rough," Alex began, placing her hands on top of Piper's. "I know that this must be hard –

"You don't know shit," spat Piper, snatching her hands away from Alex's. "I don't want your forced pity. Have you ever given birth to a _stillborn _child, Alex? It's the most awful fucking –

Piper squeezed her eyes shut, a wave of nausea threatening to overtake her as the terrible memories inundated her brain.

_"Piper, I'm going to need you to push!," cried the nurse, as she squeezed one of Piper's hands as John held the other._

_Stricken by unimaginable pain, both physical and emotional, Piper let out a hopeless sob._

_"I can't do this!"_

_"Yes, you can!," coaxed the nurse. "It's almost over! Just a little more!"_

_"Gragh!," screamed Piper as the drug-induced contractions continued. "I can't fucking do this!" Tears streaming from her eyes, Piper bit her lip. She wanted nothing more to give up, to surrender to the pain and be swallowed by the blackness. She had failed Larry, she had failed John, she had failed little Michael, and she had failed Alex._

_"Stop being ridiculous, kid," a familiar voice chastised from within her mind. "You have to do this – for John, and for Michael. You love them don't you?"_

_Piper whimpered, scared, and knowing that, though imagined, Alex's voice was right. She had to come through for her family. She braced herself. The beeping of her EKG, the cries of John and the medical personnel all blending into background noise, Piper exhaled and began to push through the paralyzing pain with every ounce of strength that she had left in her now sweat-covered body._

_"Arghhhh!"_

_ The pain of delivery, however, felt like nothing in comparison to the shattering grief that shook her to her core as the physician placed the discolored, misshapen, still, yet magnificent infant in her arms. Though he looked very much like her brown haired, muscular husband with his rounded, cherubic face, he had his mother's nose and ears. His eyes were closed. Piper gently pried open his fragile, little eyelid to reveal that Michael also had her eyes._

_ Piper cried as John held her, sobs puncturing his stoic demeanor. And for a while, they just stayed there – wishing that one of them would wake up from this awful nightmare._

"Piper? Piper! Where'd you go?!"

Startled, Piper awoke from her reverie, tears sliding down her face. Mortified, Piper swiped at her cheeks, fighting to regain her composure. She sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "Is this what you wanted, Alex? To see me in as much pain as I put you in? Because if so, congratulations. Not only did I fail as your girlfriend and Larry's fiancée, I also failed as a mother before my baby was even born."

"Piper...you can't blame yourself." The pity in Alex's eyes made Piper want to scream and throw things.

But she did not. Wanting nothing more than to go home, Piper began to stand up, ignoring Alex's comments.

"Wait!," called Alex as Piper began to turn away. "Just wait."

Piper cast Alex a blank look. "What?"

Alex hesitated. "Piper, I've thought about what you said last time. About how I could use my life to help people. I could turn my life around. _We _could both make a difference."

Alex's use of the word 'we' caused Piper to flinch. For a moment, she just stood there.

"You don't get to do that," she said, finally. "You don't get to talk to me about changing and use the word 'we'. Not when you made it abundantly clear that you didn't want me in your life. We're no good for each other. Maybe my conventional life didn't keep me safe, but I'll be damned if that means I'm going back to the destructive life we had together."

Alex felt a lump form in her throat as she fought back the tears which threatened to spill down her face.

"I know I've been a horse's ass, but…I love you. I want to change myself for you."

With her back to Alex, Piper remained still, but did not reply. She gritted her teeth. This wasn't fair.

"Piper?" Alex's voice was knowing and melancholy. "You don't believe me, do you?"

For the first time during their visit, Piper looked Alex straight in the eyes.

"No," she said before leaving the prison and driving away, back to her conventional life where she would never see Alex Vause again.

* * *

_**The things I had to research before writing this chapter were absolutely horrible. Reward me with a review? Or at least tell me whether or not you saw it coming? Also, I know that this chapter is much longer than the others; I guess you could say I got sentimental half-way though and decided this story didn't have enough sex scenes. xD.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**So, this story has a moral: Life is too short to be 'normal'. Be yourself. **_

_**Oh, and don't do heroin.**_

_**I think that I'll manage to surprise you guys yet again with this chapter. Let me know - did you see it coming?**_

* * *

Piper pressed her forehead against the cool glass of her apartment window on a frigid February morning. She didn't know what she was so afraid of before; being alone wasn't so bad.

Piper had come to a realization shortly after leaving Litchfield; she couldn't keep doing this, living this conventional life. Though on some level she supposed she had always known this, Michael's death had deprived her of the desire to even try. Besides, it wasn't fair to John – John Kerwings was a good man who deserved a wife who wasn't irrevocably scared by her felonious, Sapphic past. And so, after about three more months of fake smiles and pretending to be interested in the gossip of her conventional friends, all of whom assumed she was over Michael's death and on track to try for another baby, Piper broke down and told John everything. She told him what Litchfield was _really _like. She told him about putting Pennstatucky in a coma (from which she thankfully awoke two days later with minimal residual damage), she told him about Crazy Eyes, but most importantly, she told him about Alex.

_"I…I don't understand," John stammered, shock written all over his face. "Are you telling me that you're a lesbian and that our whole marriage was…a lie?"_

_"No!," insisted Piper, taking his hand. "I loved – still love you. I love our breakfasts, our mornings in bed, the way you always wrinkle your nose when you're reading, the way you hate lowfat milk, the way you make corny jokes, the way your hair sticks up in the morning – all of it."_

_"But…if you love me so much, then why are you telling me that you're in love with this woman, Alex?"_

_Piper sighed. "Because I need you to understand why I can't do this anymo-_

_"No!," John cried out, closing his eyes and rubbing them. "Piper, please… You said you loved me. Why are you doing this to us?"_

_Piper tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "Because you deserve someone who isn't so fucked up by her past that – Piper felt tears begin to fall – that she can barely get through the day. The firm cookouts, the Church services, the vacations to Cape May, the afternoon teas, and the weekend brunches – it isn't me. Not since Litchfield. I want you to have someone who can live a happy, conventional life_ _with you, John. Someone who doesn't have a criminal record and a lesbian ex-lover always lurking in the back of her mind. Someone who – Piper felt her voice begin to crack – someone who doesn't continually fail you as a wife or her child as a mother before her precious little boy is even born."_

_Sympathy replacing the hurt in his kind eyes, John took Piper into his arms. He kissed her temple. "Sweetie, you didn't fail. Not as a wife and most certainly not as a mother. I just don't understand, though – why didn't you tell me about your past? About who Alex really is?" Anger began to creep into his voice. "Or about the fact that you've been seeing her behind my back?"_

_Piper hung her head in shame. "I just wanted to put it all behind me. I thought that if I tried to forget it all, it would just go away. But then I started seeing things that reminded me of her and…I just couldn't help my curiosity, I needed to know if she was okay, you know?"_

_"No, Piper. I don't know," replied John, his voice growing hard. "She's obviously been nothing but trouble for you. Yet you want to leave me, the person who loves you, and our nice life together, to go…to go spiral down the same path of destruction she dragged you on before?"_

_Piper shook her head. "John, I'd honestly rather die than return to the life that the two of us had together. We were both so selfish, so wrapped up in our own little world that we didn't care who we were hurting."_

_"Then why, Piper, do you want to end this? I'm not scared of your past – I love you!," insisted John._

_Piper cast her husband a small, sad smile. John really was a wonderful man. She sniffled. "Because, John, you need someone who doesn't have to force themselves to smile when they go out with our friends, someone who doesn't see an English muffin and remember the time that the prison kitchen starved her out, someone who doesn't look at the pulpit in Church and remember the time she fucked her ex-girlfriend up against one after being released from SHU, and someone who shares your unwavering faiths in God and His plan. You need a woman strong enough to brave each day of the conventional life that I know you want."_

_Piper looked down, watching her teardrops fall to the floor._

_"And that's just not me. No matter how much I very badly want it to be. I love you. And because of that, I need to let you go."_

_Slowly, as though trying to process everything his wife had just said, John nodded, sadly. Silence hung in the air before he finally asked, incredulously, "You had sex with another woman in a __**Chapel**__?"_

* * *

It was a true testament to John's character that despite the heartbreak they both felt, he insisted on remaining friends. After the divorce, Piper had packed up her things and moved out to a medium sized town in Georgia. Though she continued her career, Piper finally embraced her unconventional spirit and took a job at the local police department as a forensic accountant. Given her past, they had been skeptical of her motives, but Piper had been able to convince them to give her a chance. She had an excellent record, a charismatic smile, a mother with connections, and a multitude of satisfied clients who vouched for her hard work and honesty. After pulling the chief aside, she had even managed, after some convincing, that her experience in prison was a _good _thing because it enabled her to better understand the criminal mind. After months of relentless persuasion, the chief had agreed to give her the job on probationary terms. Grateful, Piper had put her all into it, working to ensure that they never regretted the decision.

It was exciting work with a more diverse host of colleagues than the ones back in Twinsburg who were probably still gossiping about that seventeen year old who sold cigarettes during the school day. For the first time in years, Piper felt unadulterated happiness as she progressed through the months of her life. As expected, her parents had not taken the breakup with John well. Piper hadn't expected them to be supportive. When inquired as to why she'd terminated the marriage, Piper just cited irreconcilable differences without going into too much of an explanation – she knew her parents, like most conventional people in her life, would never understand. As of today, she had been on her own for a year and a half. Her and John spoke regularly, in fact, she had attended his wedding to Jenji, a lovely woman who she had no doubt would make him very happy.

After the ceremony in Precious Blood, John had even found her and pulled her aside, telling her that he wanted nothing but the absolute best for her. Piper smiled to herself – John Kerwings, the conventional man with an unconventional sense of forgiveness.

She would think often of Michael, missing him each day though she had never known him outside of utero. Thankfully, she had been able to come to terms with his untimely death and stop blaming herself. Deep down, Piper hoped that someday she could have another child, but also accepted that it wasn't in the cards, at least not as of now.

And of course, Piper thought of and missed Alex. However, she knew that she had made the right choice in leaving both her and John behind. Piper hadn't seen, heard from, or tried to contact her since she last left Litchfield. Piper was dating again – both men and women, though none lasted more than three dates.

All in all, Piper was doing well for herself and settling nicely into the comforting embrace of routine. That is, until she opened the door of her apartment to find Alex standing in the hallway.

Piper felt eyes widen as her jaw hang slack. She blinked a few times, in disbelief that the inmate who occupied her thoughts, whom she previously thought had _years _left to serve in federal prison, was actually standing at her door.

"Hi, Kid," greeted Alex, smiling cheekily as if this were a normal occurrence. "Mind if I come in?"

Still paralyzed with surprise, Piper merely nodded. Alex walked past her and surveyed her apartment.

"Nice place. Small, but cozy. I like it."

Closing the door, Piper slowly turned toward Alex, half expecting to wake up at any moment. Surely, this wasn't real. It couldn't be. She took a moment to study her. She looked good - healthier, somehow. But that could have been because she was wearing jeans and a flattering blue top instead of a hideous beige prison suit.

"Wha…what are you doing her? Did…did you break out of Litchfield?!," Piper blurted out, a million questions racing through her mind.

Alex laughed warmly, shaking her head. "And how would I have done that? The Rapture bus? I'm not invited on it, remember?"

"Alex," said Piper in a voice familiar to the taller woman. It was her 'stop fucking around, or sex will become a distant memory' voice.

"I was released, Piper. I've been out for eight months. I was only in there for an additional seven months."

"For drug smuggling?!," an incredulous Piper practically shouted. The impression she had gotten at Litchfield was spot on; their legal system was completely fucked.

"No, silly. Perjury."

Piper rolled her eyes. It figured that Alex had lied to her. She folded her arms across her chest. "You told me the first time I came to visit that you were in for drugs."

"No," Alex corrected. "I told you to fuck off and that it wasn't my fault I was double crossed. One of the former dealers in the ring ratted me out and told the DA that I lied in trial when I said I'd given him the names of all accomplices - I only gave him the names of people I knew weren't going to kill me when I got out. The DA got so mad that he threw me back in Litchfield for an additional seven months." Alex rolled her eyes. "Justice is served. Just like the founding fathers intended."

"Okay…but, Alex, that still doesn't explain why you're here. How did you find me here in Georgia?"

Alex smirked. "Piper, I've smuggled thousands of pounds of illegal drugs across international borders. You weren't that hard to find. I went to the return address listed on the letters you sent me while you lived in Twinsburg. Imagine my surprise when a man opened the door and told me that you were no longer married to him and no longer lived there."

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Relax," responded Alex, holding her hands up. "I'm getting to that part. He asked who I was and when I told him my name, his head spun like the exorcist and he told me you didn't want to see me and that if I truly cared about you, I'd stay away." Alex paused, shaking her head in amusement. "You know, it's funny. I know _married _couples who fucking hate each other over stupid things like money and jobs. You, on the other hand, jump ship on the marriage boat after telling your Catholic husband that you're a half-lesbian who's so scarred by prison that she can't be normal and the guy still thinks the world of you. He sat me down and _interrogated _me about my intentions toward you – I felt like I was on an episode of freaking CSI or something."

Piper gave a slight smile, wondering what she'd done to deserve someone as lovely as John in her life.

"And what lies did you tell him to get him to give you my address?!," asked Piper accusingly, focusing back on Alex. "Because, Alex, if you think for _two seconds _that I'm going back to the stupid, destructive, fucked up excuse for a life that we had before I left you than yo-

"Piper," Alex cut her off, holding her by her shoulders and looking her straight in the eyes. "I meant it when I told you I loved you and wanted to change myself for you. Besides, after realizing that I wasn't about to try and coax you back into drug smuggling, John threw me out of his house because his fiancée was coming over."

"Jenji is his wife," corrected Piper, not knowing what else to say. "They've been married for two months."

Alex gave Piper an uncharacteristically sheepish look. "Did I mention that this was six months ago?"

"What?!," asked Piper, eyes narrowing in confusion. "Why? Why didn't John say anything?"

"I asked him not to," Alex explained.

"And why would he listen to you? And more importantly, why are you coming to me now? Have you lived here in this town the whole time?"

Alex shook her head. "No, I live about thirty minutes outside of it. Listen, Piper the reason I asked him not to tell you and the reason I waited six months before coming here is because I needed time to get my shit together before I saw you."

"Alex, I don't know what sort of plot you have, but I really don't have time or desire to be your life coach as you –

Alex held up her hand. "Just hear me out. And when I'm done, if you still want me to leave, I will. I won't come back. Okay?"

Piper pursued her lips, thinking for a moment. "Fine," she conceded, though she didn't believe that Alex would ever be completely gone from her life. "You were saying?"

"I was saying that I needed time to get my stuff together so that when I came here, I could show you that I meant what I said back in Litchfield. You know that business in town, _Fulan Foods_? It's been around for about three years?"

Piper nodded, she knew the CPA managing their books.

Alex smiled, proudly. "Giani Fulan, the CEO, used to work under me in the international cartel. I guess prison can be rehabilitative after all. Who knew?"

Piper let out a snort.

"Anyway," continued Alex, ignoring Piper. "I talked to him and he said he remembered how good I was at my job and said that he could use my skills to help him import produce from other countries and run the store. He made me a managing partner."

"Alex!," exclaimed Piper, forgetting for a second her skepticism. She was genuinely happy for her. "That's…that's awesome!"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know if 'awesome' is the word I'd use to describe taking inventory and tracking revenue, but it's a good paying job with great benefits that doesn't involve heroin, so it's a start."

"Why did you wait until now to tell me? Especially when you live so close?"

"Two reasons," the dark haired woman explained. "First of all, I wanted to make sure that I could actually do this whole 'normal job' thing before I came to you and, as it turns out, it's actually pretty nice. Even though I don't travel around the world, I make enough to potentially go on some sweet vacations. Second, and most importantly – Alex fumbled through the black purse she was carrying and pulled out a small, black, rectangular box – I wanted to save up and be able to properly buy you this."

Alex opened the box to reveal a beautiful, diamond engagement ring. She looked pointedly at Piper.

"Kid, don't make me get down on one knee. I'm already going out on a limb, here."

Incredulous, Piper took a step back from Alex. She rubbed her eyes – there was no way that _Alex Vause_, former drug smuggler and free spirit, whom she hadn't properly talked to in _years_, had actually shown up in her apartment with a diamond ring she bought with money she legally earned from a nine to five job. What was next? Pornstache becoming a women's rights lobbyist? Healy attending a gay pride parade? The apocalypse?

"Pipes?," called Alex, breaking her train of thought. A touch of worry colored Alex's voice. "Say something, will you?"

"Alex…," she began, half expecting to wake up. "I'm just trying to make sense of what's happening here. I haven't talked to you for _years_, save for a vicious fight that served as the entertainment of everyone incarcerated in Litchfield. I abandoned you at _least_ twice, you told me multiple times that you didn't want me in your life, and called me the most self-involved person you've ever met. What part of that clusterfuck of controversy compelled you to move to fucking Georgia and propose to me out of nowhere?"

"Piper…can I sit down?," asked Alex, gesturing toward the small, blue couch that occupied her living room. Piper nodded and sat beside the dark haired woman.

Alex took a deep breath. "Look, Pipes. We have a fucked up past an-

"You _think_?!," interrupted Piper, laughing slightly. "That's an understatement. In fact I-

"Didn't your mother teach you that it's rude to interrupt?," Alex cut her off, her voice thick with annoyance.

Piper sighed. "Okay. Sorry. But, given the circumstances, I think that my surprise is merited."

"Then let me explain, okay?" Then in a more pleading tone, she added, "Please?"

Piper nodded. Though fairly certain the other woman had lost her mind, the least she could do was hear her out.

"As I was saying," Alex continued. "I've known you for about fourteen years and, I'll be honest, I've spent most of them resenting or downright hating you."

Piper opened her mouth as if to protest, but Alex continued talking before she had the chance.

"But, Pipes, the fact is, even when you left me, even when you broke my fucking heart, even when you chose Larry, and even when you left prison and didn't talk to me for three years, I _never _stopped loving you – and hating myself for it. No matter how much I've wished it were otherwise – and believe me, I have – you're the love of my life. I've been separated from you for over a decade and I'll be damned if I spend another moment of my life without you. And besides..." Alex's voice trailed off. "…when I spoke to John, he said you loved me, too."

Piper paused for a second and began slowly nodding her head again. "Is this what you told John to get him to give you address?"

Alex shook her head yes.

Piper put her hand to her forehead, taking in everything Alex had just said before responding, "I do love you, Alex. It's true. But this? This is really drastic and, I don't mean to be patronizing, but I don't think you realize the implications of this decision. Part of the reason I've always loved you is because you're so unconventional. But, Alex, by giving me, a WASP, this yuppie ring, you're implicitly agreeing to a boring, conventional life with a boring, conventional nine to five job. I know for a fact that you aren't suited for any of that. You want to free fall through life, remember?"

Alex felt her heart sink. "No, Piper. What I want is _you_. I've thought this through, okay? You were right about me needing to change my life. I want something more stable and besides – Alex's face broke out into a slight smile – we're two dyky ex-cons living in the middle of Georgia. We're not _that _conventional."

Piper fought the urge to smile. There was no denying that she missed Alex, no matter how crazy this all was.

"Really?," quipped Piper in a solemn voice. "Because I specifically recall you talking about a future of doing ecstacy on a beach with three strangers in drag on a Cambodian shore, Alex. I'm not criticizing you" – Piper was quick to add upon seeing a twinge of hurt flash across Alex's face – "I'm just saying, I don't want you to become ensconced in a conventional job, in a conventional town, leading a boring life where you're not happy."

"I am happy!," insisted Alex, becoming frustrated and on the verge of tears. "And I wanted to make sure of it. That's why I waited and spent six months on my own, becoming accustomed to 'conventional' life, before I came to you!"

"Alex," responded Piper, becoming emotional herself. "Six months doesn't mean shit. There is a _world_ of difference between half a year and forever."

Slowly, Alex began to smile, her sad eyes filling with hope. "You…you want me forever?"

Piper leaned over and kissed Alex, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Of course, I do. No matter how much I've fought it, there's always a part of me that wants you here, next to me. Even when I wanted to smash your face against the wall during my first month at Litchfield, a part of me ached to be with you."

Alex took Piper's hands in her own. "Then let me. I promise I will always be here, with you. I'll never leave unless you want me to."

Piper took her hands from Alex's and picked up the ring from the black box that Alex had set next to her on the couch. "And you're sure this wasn't bought with drug money?"

Alex smiled and rolled her eyes. "That'd be a little hypocritical of me, considering I've been running the local Narcotics Anonymous chapter for the past five months."

Piper nearly dropped the ring on the floor. "What?!" Alex was apparently full of surprises.

Alex beamed. "Piper, when you told me that by smuggling drugs, I was being selfish, I realized that you were right." She paused. "Well, actually, I ranted to Nicky about how you could go fuck yourself and _then _realized that you were right. I can't take back the damage I helped the cartel cause, but I _can_ help people here overcome the addictions that I used to help fuel, you know?"

Piper felt an overwhelming surge of love course through her as tears began to steadily fall down her cheeks. "You...did all of this for _me_?"

"Not _just _you, you narcissist," replied Alex, smiling and giving Piper a playful shove. "I did it for _us_. I want to be a better person for you, for me, for our kids – presuming you're into it of course," she added quickly. "I know that with what you went through with Michael, you might –

"You know?," said Piper suddenly, holding up the ring and gazing at it. "I could tell you to take this beautiful ring and leave, I could remarry and have kids, and I could create another version of my life in Twinsburg, but, when it came down to it, it'd always be you." Pausing to wipe her now wet cheeks, Piper slipped the ring onto her slim finger, pulled Alex in for a kiss, and stared into the other woman's green eyes. "I love you, Alex. No matter how hard I try not to, you're inevitable to me."

Ever prideful, Alex fought, albeit in vain, to keep from crying. Smiling from ear to ear, she pulled Piper into a deep hug. She couldn't remember the last time she was this happy.

"I heart you, Kid."

Piper bit her lip. "Promise?"

Alex pulled away from their embrace long enough to kiss Piper on the mouth and gaze lovingly into her eyes.

"Yeah."

* * *

_**I won't lie. I seriously considering having Piper either tell Alex to get lost or end up with Larry, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for closure and a happy ending. Anyway, I suppose that's it for now. Thank you to my lovely reviewers. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Come season two, I may be inspired to write a sequel if you guys would be into it. Please review and let me know what you thought of the overall story. **_


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